Greetings Fantazzle gamers!  Welcome to the most unique fantasy website on the planet.  I’ve been hired to serve as one of your hosts.  I’ll try my best to offer unique and insightful perspectives on everything fantasy-related here on the blog, all season long.  But if you’re not looking for insight and instead just looking for someone to bash when Adrian Peterson follows up a 296-yard 3TD game with 45-yards and no TD’s in the next three?  Well then, bash away!  After all, didn’t he know that weeks 10-13 are the crucial stretch run for most fantasy leagues?  Come on AD (shouldn’t it be AP?), get it together man!  Your Vikings weren’t going to do anything in the playoffs, at least help out the fantasy nutjobs!

See, I can bash as good as the rest of ‘em, but I’m getting off-track.  It’s a new season. I haven’t drafted my team yet and I’m sure I won’t get AD this year… but that was before Fantazzle!  Yeah, yeah, I’m a schill, but let me get the corporate pitch out of the way first: 

We all have a PRIMARY LEAGUE, in ALL CAPS because your primary league may not be the one that gives out the most money, may not be the most competitive, may not be the friendliest league, but it’s usually against the guys you can’t stand losing to: college buddies, best friends, that idiot Steve down the hall who got the promotion over you just because he brown-nosed the corporate bosses every time they showed up.  And why can’t they see he’s just brownnosing, for pete’s sake?  Are morons running every part of this company???

Anyway, as I was saying, when the team in your primary league starts falling apart, usually when one of your key guys sustains an injury, there’s little you can do. Your season, just like every Cardinal fan’s season, every single year, goes down the tubes.  And what about drafting Darren McFadden?  You’re an Arkansas fan, you followed him from college to the pros but stupid brownnosing Steve drafted before you in your office’s four-player keeper league and now there’s no chance you’ll ever get him. 

Well, my answer to all of that is: Welcome To Fantazzle! 

Win cash prizes in fantasy leagues that run week-to-week!  Draft the guys you love and watch them rack up points for you like you knew they would.

Now then, that wasn’t so painful was it?  If it was, feel free to leave angry comments and negative feedback for me and I’ll be sure to ignore it. 

As for what to expect from this blog for the rest of the season?  Insights, Raven-love and a below-average sense of humor.

Welcome! 

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